Decisions and Down Days

I met a wise woman recently. She’s a former real estate agent, current addictions counselor. She understands human behaviour. She says:

“When you make a decision, you have to make that decision work for you.”

YOU make decisions work for YOU. I love how this puts me in the driver’s seat. Your decisions don’t run you, you run your decisions.

Tonight I was reading a list of recommended books for investing from the G&M. Thus far I’ve been a killer saver but a reluctant investor. I’ve got half the equation locked down, still working on the other half. Too many choices. One of the books wasn’t even about investing, it was about making decisions.

But I digress. The really interesting thing that happened today was having lunch with a friend and former colleague who had this to say about her summer:

“I’ve had more personal time than I’ve had since my last vacation and more fun than I’ve had since high school.”

By the way, she works at the company I left for many reasons, more personal time and more fun pretty high up among them.

Cue that anxious, self-doubting feeling… did I make the right decision?

Question: do we ever learn that comparing ourselves to others is futile?

 

When people ask me about my summer, I have two answers. The Good answer is that I’ve had a wonderful summer. The Coles notes version is pretty much summed up here.  The Bad answer is that I’ve been increasingly self conscious about my skin problems, haven’t spent much time outside of the city, have been feeling alienated from my friends, and haven’t enjoyed my job much.

Boo hoo. They’re both true.

Well, whether or not I was raised in a family that taught you to hide any negative feelings (for your own protection, but still), I can own this. It’s vulnerable but it’s real. Life isn’t perfect, but I am making my decisions work for me. And that means loving my revised life and choosing to see the good in it. All the good that is yoga, crochet, family time, health and incredible theatre.

I give people great advice, but sometimes I have trouble resisting the comfortable loop of negativity toward my own situation.

I know that life is good, that people are different and we’re all on our individual journeys, et cetera. Some days it just feels like a lot of energy to convince myself. On days like that, I take a long shower, clean my apartment and go to bed early.

Because tomorrow is a new day full of fierce, hard-working decisions that I haven’t even made yet.

 

 

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