Legal cannabis and permission to change

I went through a bit of a rebel stage in high school. When I say rebel, I mean I got straight A’s and I knew how to roll a joint (I had some practice). It’s all relative.

Over time, my friends and I got into other things like working 24/7, spinning and a glass of wine after work. These activities were socially acceptable and could be done relatively shamelessly around other humans.

Basically, we changed.

It happens.

This week cannabis became legal in Canada.

And now the whole country has to figure out what this means. Before there was a clear message of “it’s BAD,” and now we’re like “OK, maybe it’s fine”.

It’s a massive perception shift. It’s calling on us to think about how we think. It’s challenging the views many of us never questioned before.

Imagine you invested years enmeshed in a certain way of a thinking, pursuing a specific career path, believing it was right for you, only to discover it actually wasn’t? Life marched on and you became different.

People tell me this story all the time. They feel like they did it wrong. They didn’t.

They just changed.

And for a lot of people, change is difficult.

A government takes an illegal substance and says “never mind, enjoy!”. A focused, motivated human looks at the road ahead, the road they chose and sprinted down, and feels nothing.

How do we reconcile the before and after of such a cosmic shift?

We pause. We observe. And we come to a view.

Then later: We pause. We observe. And we allow that view to change.

If your views aren’t changing, ask yourself whether you’re pausing and observing enough. If your career path doesn’t seem to fit anymore, allow yourself to come to a new view about where you need to be.

Let the old perceptions, the old truths, burn away (see what I did there?).

And let the new truth settle in.

Having come of age in a time when this little plant was vilified literally to the point of criminalization, where there was a real societal risk involved with buying and consuming it, I wonder, how will legalization change how our kids discover and potentially engage with it?

Here’s what I hope: They’ll know more than I did. Like, the effect it could have on their development, how much is too much, and what’s a safe(r) way to consume it. I hope legalization will be accompanied by education – and I’m already seeing it.

I also hope this: If they choose to try it, they can try a version that was grown responsibly, and with proceeds contributing to government revenue which funds healthcare, education and security rather than human trafficking and violence.

I hope that post-legalization, it won’t always be about that rebellious image, the “bad kid” who is “acting out” and getting high. I hope we can keep the entrepreneurial ones – bless their rebel hearts – from getting into selling this stuff out of their backpacks. They can do their homework (or start a legitimate business!) instead.

I hope that you too can step back, look at your path with grace and an open mind, and accept that it may need to change.

Then, have the common sense and courage not to stand in your own way. Your continued evolution is your human birth right. At work, at home, everywhere. Let it happen.


PS! if you’re on the road to change and interviewing, grab the interview prep guide HERE – it’s designed to help you nail your message, build your stories, find your voice and get the job.


Want more? If you’re into living intentionally, getting super clear on what you want in work and life, taking inspired action and using your work as a catalyst for exploring your human potential, then hello kindred spirit! Get enlightened career strategy, inspiration and first access to new free resources by clicking HERE. Follow on the ‘gram HERE.


Three career crossroads: which one are you at?

Ever been stuck on a big career decision – feeling out of alignment, confused or paralyzed? Over and over, I see three major decision points that stump us. Three career crossroads that we stop and stand at, gazing around… some of us for a long time.

Let’s stop doing that! Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re taking a pause at one of these crossroads. Let’s figure out which one and get you moving…

The first crossroads: what work should I be doing? 

You may think this is a question for teenagers before they choose their major, and it is. But it resurfaces, often several times as we grow into our careers and our lives; when you’ve been through change; when you’ve grown significantly; when you feel out of alignment with your path.

Asking this question doesn’t mean you did it wrong up until now. You didn’t mess up! It means you’re evolving. It means you’re brave.

How do we solve it? I like to start deep by understanding values. Your values are the underpinning of all your choices. So, when you consciously understand your values, you will simplify your choices. For example, one of my top values is evolution. I am obsessed with growth and change. I am surrounded by plants and tree images all the time. So, what work should I be doing? Work that focuses on helping people evolve.

The second crossroads: what’s my next move? 

This is a career transition. It’s what happens when you’ve outgrown your role or your manager or your company or your colleagues or your least favourite spreadsheet.  You’re ready to change…. change jobs, change companies, go to flex, go to ownership, go to parenthood, go back to work, CHANGE.

Remember outgrowing your sneakers as a kid? It’s uncomfortable. Often, we need to get really uncomfortable and feel really out of alignment, before we are willing to take the risk of stepping into the unknown. Our human brains are wired to keep us safe and doing what we know, so it can be a BATTLE, even when you know on some level, that it’s time.

Whole generations before us simply avoided this; now, the economy of work is much more fluid. In a lot of ways, we are always on the job market, always marketing ourselves. Some people embrace this and others don’t; it’s fine. But when you want a change – when your feet get itchy and it no longer feels good 75%, 80% of the time where you are, it’s time to seriously think about that leap of faith. And then to stop thinking, and MAKE YOUR MOVE.

The third crossroads: ready to thrive

I’ll be honest: some people never get here. Even for those who do want to THRIVE, it takes a good measure of self-awareness, focus, willingness to take risks, and universal timing. It happens when you’re in the right place, when you’ve put your roots down in the right soil. And you’re ready to grow.

And it’s a crossroads because often, it’s not obvious how to grow. You probably need to learn skills you’ve never needed before. You probably need to get way outside your comfort zone, and risk looking dumb, and make some mistakes (a lot of mistakes), to really grow and thrive. But it’s all possible. It’s all exciting.

So even if you’re an expert at what you do, put your humility hat on and be open to stumbling. Double your rate of failure. Paradoxically, it’s the fastest path to thrive.

So, where do you stand? 

Which crossroads are you hanging out at, and are you feeling the nudge to move forward? Just standing there gets old pretty quickly, so let this be your invitation to take action without delay. What are you waiting for?! (actually though, what are you waiting for?)…


PS! now that you know the problem you’re solving, check out the resources page HERE for top posts and free tools to help you. And if you’re feeling the pull for a conversation, you can always get in touch here.


Want more? If you’re into living intentionally according to your core values, getting super clear on what you want in work and life, taking massive inspired action and using your work as a catalyst for exploring your human potential, then welcome to the fold, kindred spirit! Get enlightened career strategy, inspiration and first access to new free resources by clicking HERE.  And if you’re on the ‘gram say hi HERE. XO


 

When to talk flex: landing a job when you have a life

I get a lot of questions about landing a new job. People ask me this: when do I break the news that I have commitments outside of work?

First, let’s step back and acknowledge how dysfunctional our relationship with work has become (personal mission: working on it).

Why is this even a question? Well, because of the work cultures many of us have experienced (North America, I’m raising our collective hand here). We feel nervous and ashamed, like, how dare we have commitments outside of work? And we assume that most jobs, most workplaces, won’t or can’t tolerate flexing to accommodate that fact.

Certain life commitments make us squeamish when interviewing.

The most prominent example is childcare drop off and pickup. For working parents, this can be a huge concern. Not to mention spending time with said child(ren) outside of work.

But there are other examples: like the fact you have vacation booked shortly after your potential start date, or you’ve signed on to take a course that happens every Tuesday at 11:00am for the next year.

Often the instinct (especially for women!) is to bring these little “limitations” up early in the process, so that if it’s a non-starter, then we can all stop “wasting our time” and part ways in mutual understanding. Ladies. Please stop doing that.

Remember how recruiting works.

The recruiting process is not perfect. In the early stages, it’s a numbers game: the goal is to narrow the candidate pool to those who have very strong experience and, often, no complications. Think about the whole “I saw a typo on the resume and I threw it away” mentality.

Imagine how leading with the logistics of your life is going to feel to your potential employer. Yes, it might be FINE… if they’re one of the progressive ones who have navigated this before, and/or have and understand their own policies on this topic, and/or have precedents, etc. But for a lot of employers? Potentially a roadblock. Potentially a headache. Potentially not worth it.

But you, my friend, ARE worth it! So you need to sell yourself first.

I’m going to assume you want the role because of the role (not because of the hours). I’m going to assume you’ve done the hard work to figure out what you want to be doing with your +/-2,000 working hours per year, and that this role really interests you (*and if that’s not the case, let me help you!).

Assuming you want the role, I want you to have the best shot you can. AKA your first and only task in the interview process is to sell yourself as the best candidate for the role (sidenote: I created an amazing free resource to help you do that – you can grab it HERE). Along the way you’ll come to a view about whether you like the company, the mission, the manager, and anything else that matters to you, enough to actually take it.

I want you to think about the circumstances around your childcare, vacation, and hobbies (not putting these on equal footing BTW, just listing outside-of-work demands) as being personal to you and your life – because they are. When it comes to interviewing and landing your next role, they are a footnote. If you lead with them, I’m here to tell you that you are self-sabotaging.

A Thanksgiving metaphor.

Imagine you’re cooking a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. And if you’ve done this, you know you’re probably all over Pinterest researching oven temperatures, times and monitoring procedures (and if you haven’t, you’d be amazed the range of possibilities on this topic!).

Is the temperature and cooking time important to your guests? No. They are interested in eating a delicious turkey. And that’s the same with your boss.

What you have to offer is your output. Let’s say that again: what you have to offer is your output. So, how you cook your turkey does not matter. If you plan to leave at 3:50pm every day, well, that is a minor factor that you probably will want to tell your boss, eventually, simply so she doesn’t wonder where you’ve gone (and pretty sure where you’re going, there’s cell reception, if absolutely needed).

Worst case scenario.

If you follow this advice, the absolute worst case scenario is that you land the job (confidence boost!), and then it doesn’t work out, and you won’t have it anymore. Which is the position you were willing to accept when you considered sharing your “inconvenient life needs” earlier in the process.

Except in this scenario, you will have had the opportunity to go through a process, meet some people, and if absolutely required, navigate an amicable exit. I’m telling you: this is unlikely. And if you’re in the tiny percentage of people who is going through it and in a panic: you can always contact me and I’ll get you through it 🙂

Bottom line.

A few truths: workplace cultures and individual managers vary on this, and some aren’t there yet. Also, things won’t change unless we start to demand what we need, and then demonstrate that it is possible to do great work AND live our lives the way we want to.

So, when do you bring up your life logistics during the interview process, keeping in mind they may (note: they may not) impact your work? My advice is to first consider the the actual extent of said impact (likely minimal). If you do anticipate an impact, and you actually need to have that conversation, then do so as late in the game as possible.

Raise it only after your (potential) manager knows you, trusts you, and is solidly invested in having your turkey on the team. Then, how you cook it will truly be an afterthought. And when you do bring it up, do so like the competent adult you are: clear, unapologetic, and with a proposed solution if required.

We need to start thinking about work differently, and with your brains and motivation and today’s technology, you will get the work done! Let’s not sweat the details so much.

Talk soon, Warriors x


PS! If you’re preparing for an interview, grab my Ultimate Interview Prep Guide HERE. It’s a two page form with space to pre-think and jot down all your best stories and experiences, based on the most common interview questions out there. I designed it based on my experience conducting hundreds of interviews (and being interviewed a few times, too!). If you want to get super clear and confident, grab it (it’s free!).


Want more? I share a regular (weekly-ish) roundup of career strategy, resources and inspiration with my people – get on the list HERE. And who doesn’t 💜 Instagram? Say hi and follow HERE.


Just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to

I’m kind of a hustler. I know some people don’t like that word; some days I don’t either. But I’m out there chasing, growing and building and trying my best to live an awesome and intentional life, and I call that hustling.

There are many days when things flow.

But some days it feels like pushing against a door that just won’t open. And when that happens, it’s usually because I’ve slipped into the energy of needing to PROVE something: to myself, to my people, to the world.

And that energy is bad. So lately when it happens, I take a breath and just…

Stop trying to prove everything all the time 

I’m not suggesting we shy away from proving things out of a fear that we can’t. Fear is what makes us think we need to prove things in the first place.

Try this: just because I can prove it, doesn’t mean I have to.

Just because you CAN be a VP at your company, doesn’t mean you have to.

Just because you CAN lose fifteen pounds, doesn’t mean you have to.

Just because you CAN write a book, doesn’t mean you have to.

Well, um, if I stop having to prove anything, what will I do with my time? 

Focus on fun instead 

Feeling like you always have to prove something is so heavy. What’s light?
Fun is light!
Remember fun? fun; fən; noun; enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure.
We can actually figure out what feels right and aligned with who we are and who we’re authentically becoming by swapping in these five words: “for the fun of it”.

I think I’ll be a VP at my company for the fun of it.

I think I’ll lose fifteen pounds for the fun of it.

I think I’ll write a book for the fun of it.

How about “real life” stuff? 

Of course, some things need to happen and may not sound like fun.

I need to feed my children, several times daily, whether I’m having fun each time or not (sometimes yes, sometimes no).

But for those big goals, the ones you spend so much time thinking about and planning for and remodeling your life and schedule and well-being to make room for, do this check. If it doesn’t feel one bit of fun, if doing it for the fun of it does not resonate, then please:

Stop trying to prove it, stop trying to do it, just. stop. it.

Let the magic in 

If you think about it this way, a lot of things on your NEED TO PROVE list will get shelved immediately and permanently. Others will will be transformed into things to pursue for fun… and that’s where the magic happens. My friend, you just opened the door: go ahead and let the magic come in.


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Get sh*t done: paths to finding flow

When I was a kid, my grandparents took me to Casa Loma. It’s an historic stone mega-mansion in the middle of Toronto that’s now a public attraction. I was immediately obsessed.

Obviously I took the visitor pamphlet with the castle’s floor plan back to my grandparents’ apartment. And to my great delight, my grandfather, who was an engineer, showed me how to pull out the drafting table that he and built into his bedroom wall and use his huge sheets of graph paper and a ruler to enlarge the floor plan to scale.

Despite being under ten, for the next few hours I did this work with the intensity of a surgeon. My brain was in heaven – meditative, systematic, switched on, dialed in, with laser clarity of purpose. It’s one of the first times I can consciously remember being in a state of flow.

You may feel like you have difficulty focusing, but know this: your brain is designed to flow and it craves this state of intense focus and clarity. The more you flow, the easier it is, and the more you will experience it. Here are some tips for getting there:

Make it matter  

You probably won’t find flow washing dishes (although I’ve heard it can be pretty zen #notforme). Find a task that really matters, where you’re invested in the outcome. It should challenge you, but not to the point you’ll get frustrated and quit. This is actually a great test for any work you’re doing. If it doesn’t matter enough to inspire you into a state of flow, how much of a priority is it?

Choose work times intentionally

Do your focused, creative work when you are most naturally focused and creative. If you don’t know, you need to experiment and figure that out. For most of us, we do our best work in the early morning or in the evening. Turns out, our brain activity mirrors the activity level of the animals at the High Park zoo (go figure).

Give yourself enough time 

You also want to give yourself a window of time in which to enter the state of flow and actually get somewhere. If there was a city called “let’s honestly think we can do two hours of work in the next forty minutes,” I would be mayor of that city. I’m working on that. What I’ve learned is that it is WAY BETTER to choose just one important thing, and give yourself the forty minutes to go deep with it.

Help your brain avoid distractions

Does your brain love to be in the state of flow? Yes it does. Does it need help to overcome distractions? Absolutely. Do yourself a favour and set yourself up for success.

Clear your desk space (or wherever you’ll be working).

Have everything you might need within reach.

Remove distractions (close the fifteen other tabs, or disconnect altogether, put phone on silent or out of the way (imagine!), let your dog out).

Catch yourself

A final tip: catch yourself just as you are breaking focus and challenge yourself to prolong focus instead. While writing this, I’ve literally reached for my phone, caught myself, and returned to typing at least four times. And look, I finished!

There it is. To recap: make it matter, choose work times intentionally, give yourself enough time, help your brain avoid distractions, and catch yourself. What will you accomplish today? Here’s to you, finding flow.


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Gut check: four keys to evaluating your next career move

A lot of people are confused about when to make a move. Here’s what I tell them: if you’re feeling the pull, it means something. But if you’re not serious about a move, stop “window shopping” job postings on your bad days at work because it’s a waste of your time. Spend that energy making your current job work better for you.

That is, unless it IS time for a change. In which case, let’s do it. Here are four keys to ponder before you make a move. These four factors will significantly impact your success and runway in any new role. They’ll belong in a different order for different people (clarity bonus: go ahead and rank ’em). Here they are:

The skills and experiences you need for your long term plans

If you have a long term career plan, imagine what you’ll need when you go to get your next job – the one you want after this next one. Get clear on those skills and experiences, write them down, and put them front and centre when you’re evaluating potential opportunities. If you’re not sure, think about some possible directions you might like to go, and look for themes.

The manager’s ability to nurture you

I’m a big advocate for taking jobs based on managers. There is a massive range when it comes to managers and management skills, and you want to work for someone who is going to teach you, challenge you, and ideally, actively develop and champion you. To be clear: even your dream job won’t feel that way if you’re out of sync with your manager. Once you’re in the interview process, pay attention to your reaction to and interaction with this person. Most of us have pretty good radar for whether we are going to work well with a person or not.

The story you tell about your company and industry 

You may not think your company’s story matters to you over here in the Finance Department or wherever you are, but if you’re an aspiring minimalist and your company makes plastic sand toys for Dollarama that are designed to break after a single use, that is going to be a problem. You’ll be able to overlook it on your good days, but it’s going to be a problem on your tougher days. Choose a company and industry that you can feel good about saying out loud when your neighbours ask you what you do.

The lifestyle net impact 

Compensation, benefits and vacation days matter. So do working hours, commute, environment, colleagues, learning and development, and, for some of us, quality of in-office coffee and snacks. Consider all of it: what each day and week will look like as an employee of the company you’re looking at. And ask yourself if it’s an upgrade from where you are now, or just a change.

There they are, four keys to evaluating your next career move. To recap, they are: the skills and experiences you need for your long term plans, the manager’s ability to nurture you, the story you tell about your company and industry, and the lifestyle net impact. By considering all four, you’ll make a great move for your present and future. Good luck!


BONUS! When you’re all lined up and ready to negotiate, I created a powerful cheat sheet for nailing your ask so you are clear on what you want ahead of time – grab it HERE.


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Supercharge your development according to your MBTI type

Ever heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? You are in for a treat. This is one of my (and the world’s) favourite personality typing tools and learning it has literally transformed how I approach relationships: with my partner, with my parents, with my friends and colleagues. If you don’t know your type, here’s a free test. And here’s what you can do to supercharge your development now, based on your type:

Analysts – the ideas people

INTJ: Focus your energy. You do all the things and you do them well. In order for you to step up your game, you need to stop doing the non-essentials and focus your energy on what really matters.

INTP: Capture your brilliance. Think of topic you know a lot about that could help you in your work and write it down. Then share it – either as an article on LinkedIn or more low-key, like an email to some top clients or trusted colleagues. Your status as an expert in your field will be noted (and you’ll have fun).

ENTJ: Find a mentor. You’re ready to develop into the next iteration of yourself. Look around at the people you know, put on your humility hat, and ask yourself “who has done things that I want to do, and how can I learn from them?”.

ENTP: Nurture your network. Your network is one of your most powerful tools. Think of three people you can connect with and offer to help them with something. They’ll remember the favour and pay it back later.

Diplomats – the values people

INFJ: Look after yourself. Being your awesome self can take a lot out of you so you need to recharge. Look at your schedule and ask yourself: does everything in it align with my values now? How can I adjust to make sure I’m getting what I need?

INFP: Read a book. Think of something that’s been on your mind lately. Maybe your intuition has been nudging you toward a certain topic? (I think so). Grab a book that will take you deeper.

ENFJ: Find a mentee. Oh hi Oprah, you love empowering people. So why don’t we flex that muscle and get you doing what you do best, by hooking up with a mentee and helping them get to the next level? Spoiler alert: you’ll grow too.

ENFP: Do the next right thing. You’re a free spirit and that’s a beautiful thing, so I’m not suggesting a three year plan. But spend a moment thinking about where you’d ultimately like to be and then do the next right thing to get you there. Small steps.

Sentinels – the doers

ISTJ: Take a course. Think about the most exciting projects you’ve worked on in the last year and what would equip you to keep pursuing that type of work.

ISFJ: Step into your power. Take control of a situation that has felt out of control. This could be at work, with a client, or at your kid’s school. Set up the conversation and handle it, because you can.

ESTJ: Prioritize. Your productivity is off the charts, but ask yourself, am I prioritizing the high value-add things on my list, or just getting things done to get things done? Challenge yourself to prioritize your work and watch your results soar.

ESFJ: Give yourself space. You need to breathe. Whether it’s a weekly yoga class, or a walk, or just watching Netflix, establish a routine to unplug a little. It will give you more horsepower to develop in all areas of your life.

Explorers – the adventurers

ISTP: Improve a process. You have a talent for seeing the gaps in a process that others don’t always see. Think of a process you do that could be improved and make it happen. You’ll get a lot of satisfaction and you’ll get noticed.

ISFP: Get inspired. Whatever that means for you, whether it’s go hiking or paint, you do best when you are inspired and so the best way to supercharge your development is to feed your inspiration muscle regularly.

ESTP: Join a group. This could be an industry association, coaching program or a team at work. Get involved with a group of people who are going after the same things you are, and contribute your energy to supporting them and getting support back.

ESFP: Get an outlet. You’re a creative soul with a lot of energy. Whether you rediscover your childhood love of dance or start a wine club, get an outlet and give that creative energy a place to thrive.

That’s it folks. Does this resonate? I’d love to know. Happy development 🙂


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Negotiate your next job with confidence

Fun fact: I have ten years of experience working with companies on their compensation. Take it from me, that is deep experience. I’ve seen the gamut in terms of how companies handle recruiting and the offer process. I’ve also seen the gamut on negotiations, and how different tactics land.

So, today I’m boiling it down – here are five tips for negotiating your next job with confidence.

Know who and what you’re dealing with

If you’re applying to a well-established, medium size company or bigger, chances are they have a system. This includes intelligence on what the market pays for your position, and probably an established guideline for salary, bonus opportunity, other incentives, vacation, allowances, etc.

Typically these systems come with a fair amount of internal pressure to stay within bounds – to manage costs, free up management and maintain internal equity.

This doesn’t mean you can’t ask for the moon (more on that below), just know that the company has a system and that getting around it or getting creative is generally pretty rare. This does mean that your mission is to get the best offer you can, working within their system.

If you’re joining a small company or start up, different rules may apply and creativity possibly encouraged. If you’re serious about the job and growing with the company, definitely go after equity.

Nail your ask – the sooner the better

If you’ve ever had a call from a recruiter, you know that they’re keen to find out what you’re making now. Two reasons: to gauge your suitability for their position, and to test whether you’ll fit within the company’s compensation system.

Don’t be shy about not answering that question if you don’t want to. You can say you’d prefer to put it off until later, or, you can tell them what you would like to be making – in other words, what you would move for.

Knowing the number you would move for is important. Recognizing a lot of factors go into making a career move, compensation looms large. So before you enter your first conversation with a recruiter or potential manager, take a few minutes to consider the salary, incentive, pension, benefits, vacation and other terms you would like (the aspiration) and what you would settle for (and still sleep at night). I created a quick cheat sheet to help you get clear on this ahead of time – you can grab it HERE.

Know where you stand

First, if you’re in a negotiation, they want you. Recruiting is a costly process – it takes time and most companies want roles filled yesterday. So if a company tells you they’d like to move forward with an offer, then you can be confident that they are invested in making it work with you, within reason (and within their system).

This is why I encourage you to ask for what you want. Do your homework, know your worth, and don’t be shy about coming in with all of your asks.

Negotiate with grace

First, manners. When you get an offer, say thank you. You are negotiating with another human and the relationship matters. That human is motivated to end their search with you. And they can unlock what’s possible within their system if they want to.

A lot of companies will talk through the details of the offer with you, then put it in writing. This can save them time by only getting senior management sign-off once, versus multiple times. Caution: this approach can make you feel like receiving the offer in writing is the final step. It doesn’t have to be.

So, know that the first conversation is an opportunity for you to negotiate, but not the only opportunity.

When an offer is presented, don’t agree to any aspect of it in real time. Even if you feel like Santa just flew by and left you a Victorian dollhouse full of period furnishings (or, you know, insert your childhood dream here) – take a breath, say an honest thank you and that you’d like to sleep on it. Preferably several sleeps.

If you’re still not sure you can buy yourself more time. Maybe you would benefit from meeting a few more people in the company – a peer or the head of the department. Leave it open until you’re ready to close it.

Look at the whole picture

Money is important and so is your life. When negotiating, consider the non monetary terms too – work location (commute time), hours, flexibility, seasonality, vacation, perks, leadership, opportunity, learning and development, colleagues, social, company culture. You won’t be able to negotiate on all of these, but you may on some.

Final word

There is no one size fits all for negotiating your next job, but here’s one tip that stands no matter what: be true to yourself. Career moves are a big deal, many of us will only make a handful or two in our lives. So make sure it’s the right role, know what you want, and go after it.

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If you didn’t already grab it, I created a powerful cheat sheet for nailing your ask so you are clear on what you want ahead of time – you can get it HERE.


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Change your work narrative: how to reclaim your power when you’re in a slump

A little while ago I posted some advice on getting through a rough patch at work. Let’s be realistic: everyone goes through this. As a person who spends a lot of time in the peaks and valleys, I am an expert on this. Yes, generally I love my work and career, but I’ve had times when I struggled with showing up, bringing my A game (or any game at all) and keeping myself on track with my bigger goals.

Here are five steps I wish I’d taken sooner to end the self-pity on several occasions. Also, while wine with friends is not a solution, it is fun and encouraged.

Show up as you

Wear your favourite outfit. Welcome an authentic conversation with your colleagues (in lieu of brooding silence). Say your idea out loud (in lieu of over-editing yourself into nothingness). Channel a version of yourself that feels more complete: Sunday coffee shop you, or playing with your two-year-old you, or just finished dance class you. Just, you. Whole Self, people. Throw caution to the wind.

Get boundaries

Hellish deadlines or not, you are a free person. So show up on time, get in, get it done, and get out again. Even if you’re working late, for goodness sake, take a break! Healthy people have boundaries. They’re good for you and, believe it or not, they’re good for your colleagues and company. No one has a breakdown which means everyone wins.

Finish something

Even if it’s little, make it your mission to complete something. This simple act will get something off your list and will give you some sense of control and accomplishment. That energy will do wonders for your mood and will probably kickstart more productivity too. Pick the thing on your list that least offends you, and do it now.

Take stock

When you can, take a second and get clear on what’s happening. Consider a few common reasons why you’re down on work:

  1. it’s work related (what you’re actually doing day to day),
  2. it’s people related (boss, colleagues, lack thereof),
  3. it’s path related (this role isn’t leading you where you want to go), or
  4. it’s not work at all (demands outside of work are making feel work impossible)

Even if you can’t solve for it today (and quite often you can’t), at least you know where your challenge lies. You would be amazed how many of us think the problem is one thing, when two minutes of focused, critical thought reveals that it is something else.

De-victimize yourself

Listen, you’re an adult. You got yourself this job for reasons that made sense at the time. And if every one of those reasons no longer applies, then you’re going to decide to hunt for a new job pretty soon. If any of those reasons remains valid, then good for you! You are the main character here – and if there are things that need to change, you’re about to start doing that. Getting intentional about turning this negative energy around gets you into your power and moving past a slump faster. Cue me raising a foam finger in the air for you because you got this.

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That’s it, five things to get you into your power and out of a work slump. What do you think – have you used these or others? Let me know with a comment or find more inspiration and tips (and pictures of my two cute toddlers) over here.

 

Worrying is bad for us. Let’s stop.

This month the thirteenth fell on a Friday. I have a soft spot for those because I got engaged on Friday the thirteenth in September 2013.

Recently I was researching what older people regret. What can I say, this is just the kind of stuff I google on the reg. The answer? Worrying.

I can relate to worriers. I come from a strong line of worrier women (ahem, also warrior women, shout outs ladies!). And often the worries come from a good place – of love and concern and wanting the best outcome for everyone.

Five years ago I was a little worried. I was ready to move forward with my life in a bunch of ways and I wanted all the things at once – to get married, to kill it at work, to be my fittest self, to buy a home, to start a family. Sometimes I worried that none of it was going to happen.

The problem with worries is that they’re just imaginary negative thoughts about the future AKA the unknown. Um. Could anything be more useless?

The last five years have unfolded in ways I never could have predicted, full of ups and downs and blessings and challenges. They’ve been surprising, hilarious, painful, transformative and miraculous.

Newsflash: the worries were wasted energy. All worry is wasted energy!

Back to the old folks. The article specifically said these worriers (/warriors) wished they had thought more short term. Which made me pause.

Because in yoga we’re always saying “be in the present moment”.

I realized that if we just pull those future worries back in time, and if we think short term enough then we land in the present moment. 

Worries don’t make sense in the present moment. They’re for the future.

What does make sense in the present moment? Taking actions to align with desired outcomes. 

Worrying is bad for us. Let’s stop.

That’s what our elders are telling us. Let’s listen.