Sometimes goals change, and that’s OK.
I just updated my website. I’ve been meaning to do it for a while. I started this year thinking the focus would be expansion and visibility. My word for 2025 is NOW.
But just last week (eleven months in), I found myself telling my own coach that “having a goal related to my visibility just feels gross right now.”
Coaching is so good. When you say things out loud, you can hear yourself better. When you’re really being heard by the right listener, you can speak more truth.
“What do you want then, if it’s not visibility?” classic coaching question.
“I want calm.” I didn’t even have to think about it.
I recently earned a trauma-informed coaching certificate through Moving the Human Spirit. Sixteen experienced certified coaches showed up – some of the most highly attuned, grounded, thoughtful, wise and compassionate people you’ll find, all together in a Zoom room. We studied and practiced coaching each other.
After class, I listened to the groundbreaking classic The Body Keeps the Score while completing my first major residential painting project – I transformed the fifty-year-old raw drywall of my basement workout space into a sage green sanctuary.
Physical work and DIY and learning new skills and making my home beautiful and supporting my family’s wellbeing are good for me.
My nervous system was happy. I felt calm.
“What’s important about that?” my coach again, after I tell her the whole visibility thing was to grow this business.
“Because this is the work I was made to do and it’s my legacy and it’s important that I do it. But my most important work right now is the work of raising my children.”
Ah, the tension. In the eternal words of Ani Difranco – “I guess this is the price that we pay for the privilege of living in a world with so many things worth believing in.”
How do we choose which things get our attention, NOW?
Well, inside this tenacious project that is Stand On Your Head, the growth is happening. The website is updated. The coaching has deepened. The tools are sharp. The clients are inspiring.
And outside of it, the children are growing. The biggest one is almost halfway grown. Helping with my little baby niece, I am reminded of all the tiny, mammoth, incremental stages that parents navigate with their children. We work so hard to know their needs and meet them, then respond when they change again. And there is only one opportunity to do this special work: NOW.
Someone recently brought up comparative advantage to me, possibly implying that I should focus on the paid work I’m specialized in, and let someone else paint my workout room… and pick up my kids from school.
But all of these things foster a sense of calm in me, so I know they’re good. More than ever before, I trust my nervous system to lead.
“What’s a small thing you can do today to move toward this goal?” my coach again. She’s helping me focus and stay accountable.
“Maybe focusing on visibility is skipping some steps. What I really want is just to create space in my calendar to work on the projects that matter – one is continuing to grow Stand On Your Head and another is my book project. I want to be smarter about how I organize my time, so I don’t leave important stuff for last. I want to prioritize better, and be more realistic about my energetic capacity.”
It’s that simple. NOW was not the wrong word, it was perfect. It just needed more scaffolding. So what if it’s November, we’re just warming up. The time is NOW for investing in the projects that matter, and the nervous system will decide what those are.
Turns out, the focus is Calm. So, the writing time got scheduled. And before I dive into a weekend packed with family fun, I will hit publish.
Now it’s your turn. What projects deserve a more prominent place in your schedule? How can you honour them, this week or next? What if the time really is NOW?
I’m cheering you on.
Interested in coaching? Stand On Your Head is expanding – in addition to strong roots in career coaching, we now offer transition coaching and grief coaching. If now is your time for investing in support, book a call with me and let’s chat.